i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
