remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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