Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
