she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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