Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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