I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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