We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
