I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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