dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
being pregnant is like rehab
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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