I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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