I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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