For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
