i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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