I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
