so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
