so that wasnt chicken after all
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
