And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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