OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
