i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
