he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
