Christians are straight up FREAKS
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
