I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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