I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
