thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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