I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize