pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
