At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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