Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I need moral support for this bender
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
