I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
