no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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