she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
