I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
