Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just found puke in my bra..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
