and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
