i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
