Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
