Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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