Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
