she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
