I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
