Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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