It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
