They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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