Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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