i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.