was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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