I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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