My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
