whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
