Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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