I bet he comes in French.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
operation have a gay friend backfired
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
