I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
