the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
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I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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