Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
