so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
