That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
