I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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