Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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