she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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