I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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