we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
